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MrsOrlandoBloom06
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Name: Sarah
Country: United States
State: Michigan
Metro: Ann Arbor
Birthday: 6/27/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: people-watching. beer pong. working.
writing. being barefoot. figure-skating. random song and/or dance. rain. surprises. Chicago. running. Nessie. video games. thunderstorms. partying. beaches. climbing. Photoshop. honesty. playgrounds. starry nights. adventures. Vermont. late, crazy nights. using big words. making up words. trampolines. funny pickup lines. occasional blonde moments. heights. long walks. taking pictures. roller coasters. and "sunshine socks with friggin' cloud pom-poms"
Expertise: I'm good at giving advice, helping and supporting people (and I don't mean just my friends, anyone in general), and I provide comic relief for the masses.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  SweetXLow88
AIM:  Sk8inbabe06
AIM:  MrsOrlando06
Yahoo:  LustAndAlcoholRawkXOX
Member Since:
8/27/2004
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| I did it, and I feel horrible and good at the same time. My friends just seemed so impressed that I'd finally found a good guy who treated me well and was so nice and sweet, and I think the reason it was so hard for me to let go was because I didn't want to disappoint anyone. I feel like I am constantly disappointing the people around me, and it's bad enough to know that I am a constant disappointment to my parents, I can't stand the thought of disappointing anyone else. Especially people like my best and closest friends, my coach, my co-workers, etc. Like for example, a couple of my friends made me swear I wouldn't let him go anytime soon, and he's the first guy who I felt was worth telling my coach about, and he also made me promise not to screw things up. And yet, here I am. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my life and yes, I miss him, but I can't put myself back in a situation like that again. I just want my friends to know I'm sorry, but I want to know that I'm not a total fuck-up and haven't disappointed them. | | |
| How do you say goodbye to something or someone who is so right, but so wrong at the time? How do you let go of something amazing, that just isn't for you? How do yo do that????? Uhuhhhhhhh so confused... | | |
| So I am posting this here because hardly anyone reads this anymore, so I am not worried about anyone reading this who I don't want to see it. So here it goes...
I have to break up with John. Don't get me wrong, he's amazing. He takes me to dinner all the time, pays for everything, shows affection around his friends, showers me with attention and affection, calls me beautiful (and means it), tells me he really likes it (and again, means it), but.....there is just something the other night that made me realize I forced myself into something that I wasn't ready to be in. I mean think about it. I broke up with Nate 2 weeks ago on Sunday, and then Monday John asks me out and what do I stupidly but willingly say? Yes, I fucking said yes. I am such an idiot! This is what got me into trouble Junior year of high school. I jumped from one relationship to another and got it into my head that I need/want a boyfriend. Reality check, I KNOW I don't NEED a boyfriend, and I KNOW I don't necessarily WANT a boyfriend. Adshfsdjfhufhajrsbjkrs Fuck me, fucking fuck me over. I fuck myself over again and again and again. I am terrified of commitment? Check. I am scared shitless of falling in love? Check. I don't want to be with someone who treats me how I want and deserve to be treated? Check, check. Damn....I am such a fucking rhfguahlrsfghdfhgdfkgh, ahfdgsfjhdsgf I can't even think of a proper insult to use. What a bitch I've become. I find someone amazing, and how do I treat him? Exactly how nearly every guy has treated me...like total and complete shit. Fuck, fuck FUCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Random things (in no particular order)
1. Tomorrow is Christmas. It will be the third year I won't get to share it with my grandfather.
2. Tomorrow is also what would have been the 4 year anniversary of me and Nathan knowing eachother, and the 3 year anniversary of what would have been me and him together.
3. I like Chris....a lot. And it scares the shit out of me.
4. On the 28th, I'll be celebrating what would have been my very first and longest best friend's 19th birthday.
5. I am so terrified of commitment, falling in love, and relationships, which is why I keep pushing Chris away and finding things wrong with him. Along with every other guy who wants to be with me. Including and especially Brian.
6. I honestly feel like my family values and loves my sisters more than me, because they're both the smart, pretty, nice cool ones. They have everything I want. Especially Annette.
7. I hate being like this but honestly, it feels good to get it all off my chest.
8. I feel only a tiny bit bad about ending my friendship with Brian but I honestly feel like he didn't know me at all and he didn't really make an effort to try. Even though I know he did, it still bothers me that he acted like he knew me so well but he never really listened.
9. I have been drinking, but not a lot, which is why I can type all these "confessions" if you will.
10. Another year of me not being kissed under the mistletoe goes by. But I've sworn to myself that I will get kissed at midnight on New Year's Eve. | | |
| getting a car= $9800
getting a job= 30-40 hours of your time every week
just being alive and unconditionally happy=priceless
there are some things money can't buy, for everything else, there's some way to get them.
 Can't you tell I'm just a bit happy here? | | |
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